this beer tastes like vomit already
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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