i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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