If i could tip my vagina, i would.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
