i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
whose parrot is this?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
