i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize