You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize