She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
