those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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