I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
