So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
