also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize