Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
