She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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