that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
This baby is an asshole
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
