We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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