Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Buhtt sex?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
