You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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