wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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