guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
