he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
