i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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