Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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