I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
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