ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
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