ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
