"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
