No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
