i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize