i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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