Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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