in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
