My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
