I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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