Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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