i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
