Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
