So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize