3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
