I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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