your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
