So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
