Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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