Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
