He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize