You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
