It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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