i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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