And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
