do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
