Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
