i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
