A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
