It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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