There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
