i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
