i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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