Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize