Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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